Amerika

Periscope (January 16, 2019)

  • Gillette Tells Men They’re Repulsive Creeps. Now Give Them Your Money, You Piece of Garbage

    I usually don’t really feel much like shaving. I mean cavemen had no problems finding women and dragging them back to their cozy bonfires back at the cavestead. They were way more shaggy than I’ll ever get. Here’s just one more thing that makes me really want to go more Paleo. Gillete is totally making me channel my inner Denisovian-Neanderthal swirl bastard. Get woke, go broke. That’s the new lowdown on the mow-down.

  • Dollar Shave Club is capitalizing on Gillette’s woke stupidity

    Oh, well. So much for quitting any semblance of decent personal grooming cold turkey. Besides, the HOA has really begun bitching when I hung up all the Trash-Panda skins from the gutters to tan properly in anticipation of making the spousal unit stitch me up a new bathrobe. Dollar Shave is here to prevent Amerika from undergoing a massive reforestation (at least in terms of facial hair).

  • Reports: 2 killed, 40 detained in new gay purge in Chechnya

    LGBT activists said Monday that at least two people have died and about 40 people have been detained in what has been described as a new crackdown on gay people in the Russian republic of Chechnya. The new allegations come after reports in 2017 of more than 100 gay men arrested and subjected to torture, and some of them killed, in the predominantly Muslim region.

    I just know that these guys only act that way because they haven’t shaved recently using Gillette. Same with the Religion-of-Peacers giving the Butt-Pirates roof-top base-jumping lessons in Ninevah. Like the 9-11 Hijackers, training on how to land safely isn’t a really big emphasis in the training brochure. It’s a good thing Russia never suppressed Freedom of Religion in Chechnya. Otherwise, we’d never get to see how diversity makes us all stronger.

  • The Housing Price of Liberalism

    Leave it to a Black economist who lives in Palo Alto to deny the existence of Leftist Knee-Grow Control as it happens right under his nose, near the very university where he teaches economics. So how does Mizz Pelosi and Mistah Newsome keep ’em down on the farm? They make it too damn expensive for them to live anywhere else. Those California neighborhoods with the “really good schools?” A thirty-year-old property there will cost you an extra arm and a leg that the typical black professional, affirmative-actioned into the middling echelons of the bureaucratic middle class just doesn’t have attached to his body.

    The house is for sale at $1,498,000. It is a 1,010-square-foot bungalow with two bedrooms, one bath, and a garage. Although the announcement does not mention it, this bungalow is located near a commuter railroad line, with trains passing regularly throughout the day. Lest you think this house must be some kind of designer’s dream, loaded with high-tech stuff, it was built in 1942 and, even if it were larger, no one would mistake it for the Taj Mahal or San Simeon. This house is not an aberration, and its price is not out of line with other housing prices in Palo Alto. One couple who had lived in their 1,200-square-foot home in Palo Alto for 20 years decided to sell it, and posted an asking price just under $1.3 million.

    You can let a Black be President, as long as at least 98% of his population cohort cannot afford to live in your Zip Code. This is the unspoken platform of The Democratic Party in California. This is the new White Supremacy of The Super Zip. Make about $75 million and climb the fvck aboard!

  • Assistant Professor-English Institution: Texas A&M University – Commerce

    The Department of Literature & Languages is seeking faculty for a tenure track position in English with specialization in rhetoric and composition. The ideal applicant will have an active research agenda in at least one of the following areas: community writing, public rhetoric, writing and social justice, cultural rhetorics–including, but not limited to, indigenous, latinx, feminist, transnational/global rhetorics, (dis)ability, (trans)gender, queer, embodied, decolonial, mobility, and working-class studies–and digital humanities. This position will begin August, 2019. Faculty at Texas A & M University-Commerce are required to conduct scholarly activities, work cooperatively with others, and contribute service to their discipline, the university, and the community.

    Read through this and explain to me how anyone who hasn’t been tossed out of at least one freakshow for eccentric behavior could possibly land this job. It explains the decline of the modern university better than a million philosophical tomes from Conservative Inc.

  • ‘Water on deck!‘ ‘Get out!‘ — The Navy’s official report of the Fitzgerald’s catastrophe at sea

    What happened to the Navy Destroyer USS Fitzgerald probably explains why the Chinese are talking smack about sinking US Aircraft Carriers. Weakness invites threats. Undefended borders are trespassed. Poor units are challenged. Only the dead have seen the end of war. Our inability to train people to be proper warriors will not be papered over by purchasing hyper-expensive new weapon systems.

  • Russia Announces New Monetary System

    Russia has just put 1/46 of its currency reserves into !BITCOIN! It’s over for Wall Street and The Fed. The rEvolution is coming. All Hail your new God Emperor of Dune, RonPualI! Or not. Russia just placed a non-trivial bet on a speculative asset. If this is going better than Yuri Andropov’s invasion of Afghanistan two years from now, look for the trading range of Bitcoin to tighten and stabilize. At least until the next Bitstream Cowboy writes the blockchain system identification master template and starts going rip-ass while robbing the hood.

  • French riot police are now using semi-automatic weapons with live ammunition against Yellow Vest protestors as Macron’s law and order crisis spirals

    Does the French Government really want to play playoff football here? They’ve threatened to. Do the Yellow Vests want to find out if they mean it?

    Yellow Vest protestor Gilles Caron said: ‘The CRS with the guns were wearing riot control helmets and body armour – they were not a specialised firearms unit.
    ‘Their job was simply to threaten us with lethal weapons in a manner which is very troubling. We deserve some explanations.’

    Louis XVI loved the people of France too much to ever fire upon them. This lead to a peaceful, rational discussion of the universal rights of every man…, oh Wait. Napoleon had a different view on these so-called universal rights. He also survived far more mobs during his time in charge of France. Who will MaCron emulate if this stuff all gets real?

  • Army Combat Fitness Test

    If you like watching Cross-Fit competitions on TV, but have never quite worked up the nerve to go join the local box, you can get trained up free of charge and even get paid for it. Just join Sam’s new Gender- and Age-Neutral Army. Video…

  • House Republican leaders move to strip Rep. Steve King of his committee assignments over comments about white nationalism

    Cowards.

  • NY rapper tops charts with less than 1,000 sales

    Behold! The power of YouTube. Other an as expression of appreciation towards an artist I really liked, I haven’t paid for any music whatsoever since streaming went mainstream. I have no clue how the artists featured on IHeart Radio are making a living. They could always take up crossfit and join Sam’s Age- and Gender-Neutral Army! I’m guessing almost nobody is buying new CDs anymore.

  • And we’ll finish up with some Everlast dedicated to the Yellow Vest protestors in France.

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