Furthest Right

You dramatic, useless city people

It should probably come as no surprise that the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression would inspire a little fuzz. Conspicuous spending is out, after all. And maintaining a stripper-worthy wax job ain’t cheap.

“It’s back to shaving in the shower for me,” says Catlin, a brand manager for a Los Angeles fashion label.

“It’s a fortune to keep a trim bush,” bemoans Meredith, a healthcare marketing executive.

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It does seem that George Taylor’s famous hemline theory — that the length of women’s skirts rise and fall with economic times — can be applied to bikini lines as well.

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And, as April Barton points out, “‘Racing stripes’ are not safe and secure. And security is what’s important right now. It’s nice to have a little something to come home to. It’s time to get back to basics.”


So you idiots paid people to remove your pubic hair?

That level of personal drama — beyond hygiene, using yourself as a canvas to try to be hip and pander to others — suggests terminal neurosis.

Maybe spend your weekly $50 pubic waxing fee on a hollowpoint for your own forehead instead.

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