Spammers have to be both creative and brain-dead, since their audience is brain-dead. The goal of spam is to bother a billion people so that ten thousand mentally addled morons respond to whatever magic thing that solves all problems that you are selling (usually money or penis enlargement).
Like all scammers, they must know their audience by its weakness. If you cater to gamblers, you must feel the frisson of expectation as the dice tumble or the wheel rolls, and if you rip off the greedy, you must taste the fine foods and wines that come after the big score.
Consequently, we might call them the first experts in a field that should be undertaken immediately, namely Stupidity Stupidies. We study what intelligent people do, yes, but that is only so that we can adulterate it to remove is alarming alienness to our mundane mentalities.
By studying stupidity, we can become educated in where we are weak, instead of avoiding what we fear and consequently experiencing a mental survivorship bias whereby we only notice that which makes it past the censors in our heads that eliminate the terrifying, disgusting, and ambiguous.
People like solid answers. All scams work this way: “Is your life full of doubt? Buy Butt Light and you will have certainty. We think it may involve human monkey needs like wealth, sexual gratification, and feeling relevant after years of being just another grey UPC-stamped face.”
But this spam, this one is exceptional. Let us read it together. Allez!
I am sure this must be a very weird email for you to receive, My name is Benoit Dageville and below is a Forbes article about my professional career.
You must be wondering why you are receiving an unrequested email from a very wealthy out of touch man. Well, here it is.
I came into wealth unexpectedly following Snowflake’s IPO in September 2020, when I suddenly found myself overwhelmed by my new reality.
I am reminded daily of the opportunity, privilege, and freedom that comes with great wealth. Overnight, I was suddenly granted the ability to dream of a new future, one where we, our children, and their children would live in security and without financial hardship.
But the most salient thing wealth brought with it was a feeling of responsibility to give back. We kept thinking of the Spiderman quote from Peter Parker’s uncle: “With great power comes great responsibility”.
I feel a responsibility to give—and to give with urgency. I know I cannot wait on climate change, cannot sleep on injustice, and cannot close my eyes to global health emergencies. And I do not intend to. If I believe in justice and equity, it is my duty to redistribute my wealth.
I know that philanthropy won’t change the world, but it can help support the individuals who will. Every day, through my work with my grantee partners, I am inspired by the incredible people who fight for their communities. My philanthropy is shaped by my values as well as the conversations I have with community leaders, and other experienced philanthropists.
I recently created a fund that will change the way philanthropy is approached, I have personally donated $100 Million to this fund and I will continue to fund it until I leave this earth. I am working with a marketing firm to pick at random, Individuals who I have never met and will probably never meet. Your email has been chosen as one of those individuals, Every email is linked to a person so this is my way of spreading wealth without bias or judgment.
If you receive this email, You have been chosen to benefit from my fund, You will be given $1 Million for no reason whatsoever, The hope is there is a change in the trajectory of your family’s fortunes.
Reply to my email with your full names and address, I will follow up with further instructions on how you will receive this gift.
My hope is to inspire others to join the fight for a world where all can have the same chance to build a good life.
All of the right buzzwords are there: peace, love, equality, prosperity, and free money coming your way if you just reply to the email with all of your private information. This one should snare the internet users who, halfway through a box of wine, are feeling sentimental.
Reading it more seriously, it shows no difference from contemporary Leftist speeches, slogans, articles, and conversations. They specialize in ideals, symbols of absolute good that fixes everything, essentially a replacement religion for the void created by a loss of faith.
It even talks about the “fight” for a “world where all can have the same chance to build a good life.” My guess is that this one is AI-generated from WEF pamphlets, Andrew Yang speeches, and monologues from Hallmark channel movies about single mothers fighting for justice.
How easily humans are fooled.