Furthest Right

Ashes To Ashes


Greetings to the Committee for Interplanetary Archeology,

I hold in my hands one of the most unusual artifacts we have recovered from an eliminated civilization. It is marked AMG-1208C1, and it is unusual for one salient trait: it is a belt-fed machine gun that fires a single round at the time.

To understand why this is rare, we must understand Earth warfare, which involved large groups of humans charging at one another. The machine gun was invented to prevent these charges by firing bullets in a continuous stream, allowing the user to sweep it across the fields of his fellows, killing them and ending the charge.

This gun would be useless in such a circumstance. It also features a trigger which is designed to be operated by an electric spring, and not human hands. Let me describe to you how its use came about.

During the late days of the elimination of the Earth species and its civilization, a few of the citizens awakened to what was happening and determined to reverse it. Seizing power through a populist movement, they quickly created an authoritarian government and began to remove from their continent people they saw as unable to be compatible with that society.

This provoked a counter-reaction. The rest of the species was offended by this choice, and waged war upon them. The breakaway continent, using superior technology, conquered this other group, and then made a decision of momentous importance: they would eliminate the threat.

On the island of Réunion, they built a massive sarcophagus. It was seven of their unit of measurement, kilometers, long and nearly four wide, and rose one-tenth of a kilometer above the earth. Made of white stone, it had a deep foundation and a single door at the top of a long shaft. This was designed for a single purpose.

These insurgents were intelligent, and so they used automated technology to collect individuals from around the world, drug them with a mixture of Fentanyl and Valium, two popular sedatives, and then fly them to this island and lift them to the gateway. This is where the AMG-1208C1 did its work.

We have found remains of giant loudspeakers apparently used to blast music at the people corralled to this gateway, and evidence that they were further drugged with alcohol and indole alkaloids at the top of the sarcophagus. Then, they were ushered through a narrow passageway by automated arms, where a laser sighted them and the AMG-1208C1 shot each one in the head, at which point they were placed in orderly rows at the bottom of the sarcophagus by robotic arms.

The gun used a special round that was designed to stay intact as it passed through the outer layer of bone, then expand rapidly in all directions, liquefying the brain. Death was instantaneous. After each layer of bodies was deposited, it was covered in a slurry of sewage and pulverized animal organs, specifically those of the pig. We believe this was done to hasten decay and discourage salvage.

Using this method, the people of Earth eliminated over eight billion people.

At first, the insurgent group exterminated every other ethnic group. This left only about a half-billion. Then, they used automated DNA testing to eliminate those who were partially mixed with other groups, cutting the number down to about 200 million. At that point, they selected for not only their founding ethnic group, the “Nordic-Germanic” tribe, but also eliminated those of low intelligence, high criminality, sexual fetishism and other disadvantages.

When it was all over, the planet had only eight million people, each capable of great things.

It is unclear why the elimination event proceeded. Our investigation of their records suggested that they retained a system of government based on personal omnipotence, called “egalitarianism,” which caused internal division and a series of revolutions and social disorder events which fragmented the civilization like an unstable spacecraft descending into a high-oxygen atmosphere.

For our own study, we can learn much from this and other civilizations which have experienced elimination events. Outside of ourselves, we have found none that have survived this crucial threshold, as crucial as the ability to tame fire, which seems to test species for fitness and eliminate all but one percent of them at most.

We have marked the Earth planet as a galactic heritage site and death memorial, and will incorporate this knowledge into our own history.

Submitted this 29th day of the 11th month by Avrghxzq Hbtilinien, archaeologist.

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