Furthest Right

Senator Normiecon Amazes Us Again

If Senators Feinstein and Fetterman were removed from the US Senate tomorrow, Senator Lindsey Graham would win a pennant. He would stand unopposed as the least useful and intelligent member of that particular deliberative body.

His recent proposal on dealing with Mexican narcotics cartels should win a Nobel Ignorance Prize. Perhaps the award presentation could feature dunking Senator Grahamaphrodite’s head in a toilet and flushing repeatedly. His narcotics enforcement efforts would include military action against targets in Mexico.

“I would put Mexico on notice,” Graham said. “If you continue to give safe haven to drug dealers, then you are an enemy of the United States.” Graham added he would “introduce legislation to make certain Mexican drug cartels foreign terrorist organizations under U.S. law and set the stage to use military force if necessary. “I would tell the Mexican government if you don’t clean up your act, we’re going to clean it up for you,” the senator said.

Senator Graham didn’t come up with this terrible idea in the vacuum of outer space. President Trump wanted to build a wall on the southern border for a number of good reasons. One of these factors did involve a lawless trafficking in narcotics, weaponry, and slaves. Contra the Thirteenth Amendment to the US Constitution, and loads of bloviating from the North during The US Civil War, Amerika seems to have a healthy and growing appetite for all three.

A profoundly intelligent and completely amoral cartel of ruthless business professionals is more than happy to provide Amerika’s decadent, hateful, and iniquitous faux-elite with copious supplies of whatever they currently desire. The supply chain logistics and customer service put Target and Walmart to shame. It’s like an episode of Shark Tank, except that the hapless losers really do get physically eaten at the end of the show.

Aside from the ruthless economic competition that Narcotrafficantes provide to The Sackler Family Pain Pill Empire, Amerikans travelling south to use Mexican border towns as their lifestyle septic tanks sometimes get air-holed in spectacular fashion. This has focused media attention on the utter carnage that the cartels have inflicted on people in Mexico for decades as Amerika makes this nation our number one source for a toxic gallimaufry of pharmacological concoctions. When spoiled, wealthy Amerikans are getting gacked, cartels bad.

Now that cartels are officially bad, Senator Graham sees an opportunity to sell the shopworn, outdated worldview he remorselessly peddles. He has no Soviet Union to fight, gets bankrolled by industries manufacturing in China, and has seen his effusive support for democratizing Iraq and Afghanistan fail at the cost of Amerika’s prestige and reputation.

This leaves Senator Graham on the prongs of a hard fork. He can disavow his permanent war strategy to gain reelection or he can quest for new enemies. As the Amerikan Empire fails into existential misery and sclerotic decline, Senator Graham grows more desperate in synonymy. He now dives into the library of canonical Boomer Lit and pulls out the old Tom Clancy. Mexican Narcotrafficantes are now A Clear and Present Danger.

Like the Boomerpres portrayed in the novel, he wants to issue out “a hunting license with no bag limits.” He apparently skipped the end chapter where the president bombing private mansions in Mexico gets unelected. He seems to conveniently neglect that Clancy’s novel loudly denounces the use of military force to enforce unenforceable drug laws. The Idiot Senator is taking a warning and using it as a how to manual. Think of it as Arrogant Empirical Surjection for Dummies.

The job of all true Americans appalled by Amerika becomes clear. Let us cease and desist from being dummies. Senator Lindsey Graham and those of his ilk are not champions of The Right. They are a different kind of socialist with “Christian Libertarian” surfacing. Declaring the equivalent of another stupid Iraq War against Mexico will be yet another hateful and wasteful government program that will consume the wealth of our nation for yet another hateful and iniquitous purpose.

Senator Graham may call himself a good family-values Conservative. He may well wear ties and not tie-dyes. Yet this all is a Potemkin that hides a man who makes government larger and more evil than even Bernie Sanders would on a cocaine bender with a Playboy supermodel at his side.

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