Furthest Right

Dr. Frankenstein’s multicultural monster

A Husky-Chihuahua mix.A Husky-Chihuahua mix.

A crucial aspect of multiculturalism escapes mention: what exactly is the unit of measurement by which we deem something multicultural or not. In other words, where is the boundary between inside the multicult and outside the multicult? The endgame of the multicult becomes clearer when you consider this.

If you were to look at earth from another planet, you would have to say that the earth is a multicultural world and always has been. Multiculturalism as a propaganda campaign would be redundant and unnecessary.

But this is not what people mean when they say a “multicultural world.” Upon closer look, although the planet has seven continents with different types of people indigenous to their respective continents (penguins to Antarctica), all the people keep apart from each other by living on their home continents. This is a reason to be sad according to the Hollywood movies that I have seen. We need to change this.

Let us relocate the seven types of people (to keep it simple), all divided seven equal ways, to each respective continent in perfect ratio to each other. Now we have seven continents with all seven types of people living in perfect ratio to each other on each continent. Multiculturalism at last! What’s that? Although if you use the boundary of the continent as the unit of measurement, each continent can indeed be called multicultural, upon closer inspection, it seems as though the seven types of people have segregated from each other by forming countries by dividing each continent into seven different regions. We must now take these seven regions within seven continents and move the seven types of people into equal ratio in every region.

See how they do it in America. There are 50 states, which is the perfect unit of measurement. Take the seven different types of people and put them in equal ratio per state for all 50 states. Now we have perfect multiculturalism, all 50 states have all seven types of people on the planet earth. But now the people are self-segregating into different regions within the state. Then we must do it by county. Every county in every state must have equal ratios of the seven different types of people. They are still segregating and avoiding each other within the county. Then we must do it by city limits and township limits. But they are still living on different sides of town. Every town, of every county, of every state, roughly divides itself seven ways according to the seven different types of people.

There is only one solution, Comrade. We must no longer live with our families. Families will have to be broken up so that quotas per household can be met. Under every roof, in every town, in every county, in every state, must be living at least one person of the seven different types of people. The American household will no longer be a Man, a Wife, a son, a daughter, a dog and a cat. It will be a unit of seven: one person from North America, one person from South America, one person from Europe, one person from Africa, one person from Asia, one person from Australia, and a penguin.

As the Inspector Commissar I must drop by every now and then to make sure the commune is functioning. I have to say, as I walk around the house, I notice that the black fella spends all his time upstairs, the Arabian is always outside in the hammock, the Chinaman is downstairs, and the white guy is on the porch. They don’t seem to be palling around with each other, commiserating, or generally getting caught up in lighthearted hijinks like we see on the sitcom TV shows.

Summon Dr. Frankenstein. Behold! The head of a white man, the torso of an American Indian, the arms of a black man, the hair and mustaches of a Mexican, the legs of a Japanese, the feet of a Hindu, the beak of a penguin, and the lisp of a gay man. I give you Dr. Frankenstein’s Multicultural Monster!

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