Amerika

The Women’s March, The Rooster, And The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald

While I almost had to admire the puerile dedication of the “ladies” who held the walking temper tantrum known as The Women’s March the day after President Donald J. Trump’s inauguration, anyone with a native intellect greater than that of a rotifer would have to question not only their maturity but their perspicacity as well. However, amongst the improbable roar of the vaginas there are one or two arguments worthy of dismantling. It serves to examine the argument that keeps getting shouted about equal pay.

The lynchpin assumption is that women are doing equal work. We have female firefighters, and therefore they should receive every dime a male one receives. Fair, after all, is fair! Oh wait….

She could get two plates and a quarter on a squat rack. Not bad for a dedicated CPA. You can see how this would effect her ability to hold up in the sort horrible situation firefighters are paid to charge into like a rhinoceros. Put about 80 pounds of gear on her, and she could barely drag the standard adult male out of a house fire.

So what happens in reality? She never goes into the impromptu Bessemer Furnace of a burning chemical factory. She couldn’t carry the O2 tanks and a live hose. The men put that line on their backs, drop their helmet visors and go for broke. The 115 pound Super Female Firefighter just bitches about how sexist fire stations still are and sanctimoniously reminds us all that diversity is our strength. Pay her the same or the EEOC will be paying you a visit.

And why do male E4s get to be MOS 11B and get combat pay while females only get to be 92As and type in repair orders on an ULLS box? Life is so unfair. I missed that whole scene in the Tomb Raider video game where Lara Croft carries the M-60 on a 10km patrol through hostile jungle terrain in 98-degree high-humidity weather, after going three days on limited sleep and without a shower. I’m not sure why those icky cisgender 11Bs get that unfair pay bump. Let’s ask The Rooster.

So the men do the jobs that are risky and require massive physical exertion. Risk comes freighted with adverse consequence. According to BLS, men worked 56% of the hours in 2010 and died in 92% of the workplace fatalities. Women are 28.41 times as safe from job-related fatality as men. If you think those men getting paid premiums aren’t getting indemnified for the financial consequence of this additional risk, then go ask your local Geico Car Insurance agent why she or he isn’t handing out sales literature over at Cocaine Addicts Anonymous.

The jobs that a lot of men work are hard, demanding, physically rigorous and at times are potentially lethal. If you still don’t get why workplace hazards are a justification for men to get paid more than women, take up that topic with Gordon Lightfoot. He’ll tell you all about The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald.

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