Furthest Right

How to be useless – tech support version

People on forums do not understand that Google prioritizes their replies to questions because users type questions into search engines looking for others having the same issue.

So it is with the topic Firefox takes 20 seconds to open up after startup. In this case, a user is describing what happens when Windows doesn’t cache applications, but most of the people finding the topic are looking for a solution to a specific problem: Firefox taking a long time to load.

After turning on my computer, a lot of programs take longer than usual to open up. For example, IE takes 5 seconds to open up instead of 1. This only happens after startup, which is understandable. But Firefox takes 20 seconds or longer to open up after startup. Once I use it, it opens up fine, 1 second.

Windows caches applications in the \windows\precache folder. But if your application changes, it has to load normally first. That’s the issue this person had.

However, 99% of the people hitting this topic are doing so because it’s #3 on Google for “Firefox takes five seconds to load,” which is a common problem.

The “solutions” offered by various forum idiots:

  • Defragment
  • Run virus checkers
  • IE loads faster because it’s built into Windows
  • Set your Firefox to turbo mode

Our operative attempted to inject some sanity into the discussion:

Something went wrong with FF and only FF. Based on what I’ve seen, it’s taking extra time to load the history and cookies SQLite databases.

It takes about five seconds longer to load. It is a problem specific to FF.

And the forum administrator — most forum administrators are pathological losers selected for always being online at the forum, not any particular competence — sagely says:

Thanks for the reply but after 5 years, I doubt whether the OP is still interested.
Locking [topic].

I’m surrounded by morons.

The morons in the thread had no idea what was being discussed; the original poster had no idea how to word his question.

In the meantime, thanks to Google, they’re getting many hits from people having a simple problem: suddenly, Firefox stops loading quickly.

It’s parallel to the problem of Firefox suddenly not saving cookies.

And what do you know, the solution to that:

Delete cookies.sqlite and cookies.txt (may not be there) in the Profile Folder.

Is a parallel solution to the problem of Firefox loading slowly:

There was a related topic to this that the moderator locked.

However, since people find this forum through Googling the problem they’re having, I wanted to put up a topic here to address this issue.

If your Firefox suddenly starts taking five seconds longer to load, you have an SQLite file corruption.

1. Close Firefox
2. Go to C:\Documents and Settings\YourUsername\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\YourProfile
3. Select all files of type “.sqlite”
4. Create a new folder on your desktop and drag them there.

This will solve the problem; next time you start Firefox it will load normally.

This would have been posted under a registered account but your system isn’t sending out new user registration emails in a timely manner.

Firefox recently started taking five seconds to load

Morons find a way to be useless because they are unable to think about the task at hand. To them, because they are stupid, the world appears to be a subset of their own personality, so they treat each need as if it were their own version of that need.

They find it very difficult to get beyond what they’re interested in right now, and then, to answer a question in a normal context that will benefit a normal user. But that doesn’t stop them from shouting their suggestions!

We as a species have not left the chimpanzee far behind. A chimpanzee is incapable of seeing the world of all others, although it can see the world of another chimpanzee. Until we gain, as a species, the ability to analyze our world and respond to it in a non-personal manner, we will forever be surrounded by people who specialize in being useless.

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