With apologies to a famous copypasta:
You will never be a real beer. You have no malt, you have no hops, you have no flavor. You are a soft drink twisted by artificial flavors and industrial alcohol into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock those who drinkyou. Your brewers are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your taste of sweetened compost behind closed doors.
Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even fake beers who “pass” taste uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your rancid flavor is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to guzzle you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of a real beer.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear — Annheuser-Busch will buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and remove you from their product line. Your brewers will find you, jobless but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone reserved for soda pop, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a soft drink is buried there. Your disgusting beverage will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a collection of cans weathered until indistinguishable from Coke and Pepsi cans.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
Back in realityland, no one cares about transsexuals. Parents want heterosexual kids so the children have normal lives and produce grandchildren. It is hard to fault them for that. But they are also not interested in harming you.
Certain religious fanatics on the Right will attack you, but this is slamming the barn door after the horse is long gone. Sexual liberation, an offshoot of individualism, guaranteed total ruin for the family and sanity in personal relationships.
True, the appearance of transsexuals in public is an old trope. We know it from the fall of Rome and periods of decadence in Weimar Germany, but it is probably as old as humanity. When the sexual weirdness comes out, it means that individuals have more power than the forces that conserve civilization.
Since the days of TrannyGate we have on this site mentioned that actual conservatism is not here to enforce religious dogma on us, only to preserve civilization. That both avoids scapegoating transsexuals and calls for an end to sexual liberation and public sexual activity.
The Left and the public Right want more tolerance and the Dissident Right wants signs of decay brutalized, but the Furthest Right advocates that we focus on rewarding functional behavior, removing the destructive, and leaving everyone else alone to figure out this baffling thing called life.
Tags: budweiser, dylan mulvaney, soda pop, transsexualism