Furthest Right

Take me to your leader

I’ve often wondered how it would go, if an alien landed and walked up to the nearest human.
Would an alien assume that all humans were ‘equal’?
Would an alien be that liberal?
Or that naive?

“Take me to your leader!”
Well now. That’s quite a request.
I don’t know anybody who has access to their leader. Which in itself is an interesting point. Unless we are talking Cub-Scouts, or something.
“Sure, come with me. I’ll trot you over to see Akela.”
But would Akela be the right leader?
Maybe only Lord Baden-Powell would qualify. But would he be the right leader?
Even if he was, it would prove difficult to arrange, since he is dead.

Depending upon who the alien came across, that come-across-ee might be a leftist, in which case he (or she) would be The Leader. The One. The Equal.
“Speak to me, alien. I speak for all.”
What would an alien think of this? Would an alien think, at all?
“You do not resemble a leader”, he might say.
“You stinking chauvinistic, sexist, misogynistic, prejudiced bigot!”
End of encounter.

Or maybe the alien would get lucky, and stumble upon a more reasonable human…
“Um. I don’t actually know where my leader lives. Or how to contact him. Or even her. I am sorry, I can not take you to my leader.”
Depending upon the alien, this might go one of two ways…
End of encounter.

Or, in the case of a more reasonable alien…
“Ah. I see. Well then, it falls to you to surrender this planet to me.”
Indeed, it could all get very tricky.

But probably the alien would not be able to speak English anyway.
And so I don’t worry that much about it.
In fact I worry about very little.

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