Barack Obama has had what some would describe as a rather trivial post-presidency. I am not one to gripe. Let them have a few days off when they are not President anymore. When they are as bad at leading a nation, as was Barack Obama, I am more than willing to sign a whole lifespan worth of leave slips to keep the dumb son of a cur from making any more important decisions. With that axiom planted, let me be among the many to wish Barack Hussein Obama a glorious birthday.*
In partaking of a swashbuckling mix-and-mingle amongst the brightest and most over-exposed, I think His Obamaness has set a marvelous example for all us Simple-Susan Amerikans out there in Flyover Land. This is true for three reasons.
“Today’s announcement by the CDC—that new research and concerns about the Delta variant leads CDC to recommend a return to masking in parts of the country—is another step on our journey to defeating this virus. I hope all Americans who live in the areas covered by the CDC guidance will follow it; I certainly will when I travel to these areas,” Biden wrote. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the chief COVID-19 medical adviser for President Joe Biden, said on Sunday that the CDC had been reconsidering mask guidances for vaccinated citizens after a recent and severe uptick in infections in the U.S.
Therefore, the CDC obviously recommends that you have 700 of your best friends over a liquored bash. None of you mask up if it makes your cognac breath go up your own nose. These precise measures will totally crush the spread of the Delta Variant. It is Science, Man.
In truth the masquerade license of the night was nearly unlimited; but the figure in question had out-Heroded Herod, and gone beyond the bounds of even the prince’s indefinite decorum. There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. The whole company, indeed, seemed now deeply to feel that in the costume and bearing of the stranger neither wit nor propriety existed. The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have had difficulty in detecting the cheat. And yet all this might have been endured, if not approved, by the mad revellers around. But the mummer had gone so far as to assume the type of the Red Death. His vesture was dabbled in blood — and his broad brow, with all the features of the face, was besprinkled with the scarlet horror.
Perhaps this birthday bash will be the inadvertent good deed that rids us of these hateful trash panda elites that only rivals the moral and mental dysfunction of Spanish Hapsburg mutant retards sired via incestuous conjugation. The English Plantagenet Dynasty would never have ruled except for a similar event of drunken hubris.
Then the prince and his intoxicated entourage, numbering about 300 people, boarded the White Ship to make a nighttime crossing. The inebriated prince and his friends challenged their ship’s captain and crew to make a race of it, catch, and bypass King Henry’s ship, which had sailed hours earlier, before it reached England. The White Ship’s Captain and crew were confident of their ship’s speed, and accepted the challenge.
Rowing furiously, fueled by copious amounts of alcohol, and cheered on by the drunk prince and his friends, the equally drunk crew set a good pace. However, in their intoxicated state, the crew failed to keep a good lookout, and rowed into a hazardous stretch, where they struck a partially submerged rock. The White Ship was holed and quickly sank, and hundreds drowned, including the prince.
William was his royal father’s only legitimate male issue, and his early death led to a succession crisis. King Henry failed to sire another son, and so sought to designate his daughter, Matilda, as his heir. His barons reluctantly agreed, but after Henry’s death in 1135, most barons backed his nephew, Stephen of Blois, when he claimed and seized the crown as the eldest male royal relative. Stephen’s claim was challenged by Matilda, and the duo plunged England into nearly two decades of civil war and chaos that came to be known as The Anarchy.
However, no. However, alas. The !SCIENCE! is obviously bull feces. It is a control measure rather than any expression of concern for the commonweal of The Amerikan People. If you are important enough, you are immune. Get money and power like The Obamas, and Pfizer can shove its vaccine where the sun does not shine.
The stark disconnect between Barack Obama’s behavior and the “guidance” us mere poltroons get from The CDC shows us the application of The Tupac Shapur Rule of caste in Amerika. This goes as follows: “B_tch Niggas, B_tch Niggas do what they can. Real Niggas do what they want.” Examine your daily life under CDC guidance in the coming weeks. Compare this to Barack Obama’s jolly birthday bash. It will tell you exactly what type of nigga you is in Nü-Amerika.