Chicago deserves to be fired. No, not just Mayor Emanuel, not the rather pathetic and psychedelically impaired Laquan McDonald*, the whole place. The voters, the wire-pullers, the Bureaucrats, all of it. Fired! Kaput. Trumpinated. Game over. All your base are belong to us! Hasta la vista y chuple el horno, Estupidos.
So #BlackLivesMatter shut down the Mag Mile on Black Friday. I usually tend to be unimpressed by limpid and flaccid half-measures. Itâ€™s a step in the right direction I suppose. Iâ€™m encouraged that theyâ€™ve figured out which end zone the offense needs to drive towards. Now hitting a midget ballet dancer with a sniper rifle is said to be famously hard, but perhaps these hordes of unemployed youth have the time and illegal firepower on their hands to do civic society a big favor here.
â€œThe horror!â€ you declare. We canâ€™t just shoot people. I mean, it may have worked nicely with the Kennedys, but Rahm Emmanuel is the practical one. Who knows what Chicago will elect if the municipal voter base practices uninhibited Democracy. Who cares? Seriously. Why should people of good will and intelligence care what Capone Town deigns to inflict upon itself?
Maybe #BlackLivesMatter could make itself halfway useful and relevant by torching the entire chicken shack by the lake and then driving a bulldozer over the smoldering ruins. Chicago is a vile, impacted Bolshevik colon desperately in need of a Darwinian flush. But beautiful people like Michelle Obama come from Chicago. And donâ€™t forget the glittering intelligentsia that includes Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dorn.
Ah, but thatâ€™s the glittering 1%. The dastardly evil suck-weasels that Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders promise to save us from. Most of Chicago is lucky to have a pot to urinate in. They are the usually laughable Cubs to Barak Obamaâ€™s juggernaut Cardinals. Robert Tracinski describes what it is like for most people in Chicago.
The ultimate government service, the one for which government actually exists in the first place, is the suppression of crimeâ€”which is also segregated by neighborhood. The Loop, the North Side, the near West Side, and northwest enjoy a placid suburban level of safety, while the South Side largely remains a free-for-all.
Honestly, #BlackLivesMatter should burn Chicago. Like most Northern Progressive Centers of Higher Enlightenment, its housing projects are essentially concentration camps for their kind. Our enlightened progressive despots will send an utterly useless brigade of federal attorneys to roll up their sleeves, dig deeper and stay longer if African-American kids in Huntsville, AL donâ€™t get enough AP credits to satisfy some drunk affirmative action hire of a Federal Judge. But if the blacks get all uppity in Chicago? They get the Laquan McDonald Cross-Ventilation Combo.
Why the double standard? Canâ€™t we all just get along?
President Bill Clintonâ€™s Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was typically the intellectual inferior to a meth-abusing Pvt. 1st Class. However, she did have one shining moment of lucidity. She remarked that the Medicare Program was designed by White Male Slaveholders. Rush Limbaugh kindly reminded her that the entire Great Society was the brainchild of Lyndon Baines Johnson. Neither Rush-mouth nor Slug-brain herself knew how cutting a commentary Dear Jocelyn had just offered. Blacks still remain on the plantation in areas where liberals dominate on Election Day. IF Black lives will ever truly matter, they need to harken to the example Nat Turner and burn the pretentious manor houses like Chicago, Illinois to the ground.
*-They really didnâ€™t handle his termination with very much class or dignity now did they?