From the best of Craigslist:
You: Asian, young(ish), cute, petite, left-of-center, cosmopolitan.
Me: The Asian guy you would never dream of giving a second glance.
Hi! Iâ€™m so sad that you were offended by my very presence at your favorite boutique coffee shop. Seriously, I was just there to do some work and maybe a bit of reading â€“ I didnâ€™t mean to draw attention to the fact that you too, are also Asian. I was just looking for a quiet place to sit, and the seat by you just happened to be open. Itâ€™s not like peed all over you, put my arm around your shoulder, and screamed to all the other patrons in a heavy Chinese accent, â€œShe mine! You all stay away!â€
After I sat down and pulled out Saidâ€™s Orientalism (no joke), you, in all of your ignorant glory, proceeded to loudly flirt with the nearest non-Asian man with a pulse to dissuade any romantic overtures from me. Lady, I already know you only date white guys; you donâ€™t even have to open your mouth.
Ever since Chad took you out back in high school and made you the envy of all homecoming, youâ€™ve understood the magical power of white boys. Your parents balked until they saw how well Chet treated you and made you so so so happy. You tell yourself you donâ€™t see color lines, and that youâ€™re ending racism by only dating white guys â€“ and you give yourself a little pat on the back every night before dreaming of waking up with beautiful blonde hair. Youâ€™ve even thrown in a black guy or two, just to get back at daddy. Asian guys? Like, gag me with a spoon!
Hey, I applaud you. Youâ€™re totally progressive.
People don’t date outside their ethnic groups — thus helping destroy those ethnic groups — because they’re Progressive. They do it because there’s something wrong with them, and then justify it by claiming they’re progressive.