Furthest Right

Gather all the easily-deceived and give them a name

We’re sorry for rolling our eyes at you all these years. We apologize for scoffing at your earnestness, your lack of self-deprecation, your tendency to take yourselves a little too seriously.

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And look, we really did stand for something, underneath all the eye-rolling. We’re feminists, we care about the environment, we want to improve race relations, we volunteer. We’re just low-key about it. We never wanted to do it the way you did it: So unselfconscious, so optimistic, guilelessly throwing yourself behind Team Liberal. We didn’t get that. We aren’t joiners. We don’t like carrying signs. We tend to disagree, if only on principle.

But when we watched Barack Obama’s victory speech on Tuesday night, we looked into the eyes of a real leader, and decades of cynicism about politics and grass-roots movements and community melted away in a single moment. We heard the voice of a man who can inspire with his words, who’s unashamed of his own intelligence, who’s willing to treat the citizens of this country like smart, capable people, worthy of respect. For the first time in some of our lifetimes, we believed.


We have found a way to be self-important, too!

Where formerly we hid behind cynicism, we’ve found a new identity: True Liberalism.

We think this may give our generation status which its lack of performance, like yours Boomers, does not.

Now we are going to form a cloying ueber-clique and make fun of those who aren’t so weak-willed they bow to us.

It’s what you did, and what the French Revolutionists did, and what the Russian Octoberists did, and… well, history repeats itself. Not that the TV/Wikipedia generation knows! LOL!

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