Inner war


Whether we like it or not, we Westerners are all infected with degenerate thoughts, habits and morals.

This goes especially for the youth. If you are under 30, you will almost certainly have been contaminated during your upbringing (unless you were raised in the forest by wild animals).

You have been bombarded by stupefying entertainment-culture and governmental equality-propaganda from the moment you were born. It was probably ingrained in the belief system of your parents, and it most certainly affected your social environment and any notion of “coolness” and “being accepted” in a very profound way.

In fact, your entire life has been lived in the midst of degeneracy and broken ethos even when it seemed “nice.” And if you belong to the vast majority, you probably haven’t even noticed it. You’ll be one of the millions of people shrugging it off, thinking “it isn’t that bad” and then proceeding to perpetuate the rot.

If you belong to said group, then these words will probably mean nothing to you, and if you parse them at all, you will probably think that they mean something entirely different from what they do.

But if you are one of those rare few, who has always sensed instinctively that something was profoundly wrong with society, and if you feel this as a despondency emanating from the gut of your very soul, then this is for you.

This is a declaration of war.

But not a war with some great outer enemy. It’s an inner war. It’s all within.

What is misery? What is it to feel powerless? What is it to despair?

It is anything but your sense that something is wrong with society. It is all that tries to keep your inner dissent down. It is everything trying to convince you that nothing is wrong.

Because everything is wrong: everything but that inner voice telling it like it is.

That inner voice is something rare. Something beautiful. Something subtle, but strong. It is called sanity.

Sanity is your spirit, your will, your love and your life. It is the real within you, that cannot be drowned by all the artificial nonsense that surrounds you. Commercials cannot kill it. Propaganda can’t. Rock music and reality TV can’t. It’s there, and it will be there till you die.

You can try to ignore it, and maybe you’ll succeed. But thinking that everything is okay won’t make it so. That will only reduce your life to a never-ending quest for the temporary fix: Something to silence that sanity, because you’re mistaking the sanity for the cause of your misery. You think that the voice reminding you of society’s insanity is the insanity itself. But it’s the other way around.

Don’t question the inner voice — obey it. Fight for it, kill for it and die for it: Fight everything in yourself trying to keep that sanity down. Cleanse the insanity from your soul.

Make no mistake: This is war. And we have a name for this war: It is called life. There is a name for fighting too: It’s called living.

You are a soldier. The dishonor of desertion is a fate worse than death. Don’t even think about it. Banish the thought from your mind, because this war is destiny, and only the fool or the madman plots to escape it. It cannot be done.

Instead, acknowledge it. Say yes to every battle great or small. You are fighting for the only thing worth fighting for: a life in accordance with itself.

Say yes —

And slowly but surely, you’ll find yourself in natural surroundings more often than before. You’ll cut back on excessive socializing, favoring time with the people you truly like and respect. You won’t need TV. Reading is reserved for the timeless classics. You’ll make an effort to appreciate classical music, and you will be rewarded — instead of playing that tired old predictable popular stuff over and over again. Perhaps you will start building stuff. Perhaps you’ll start to promote some sanity to the ones who’ll listen, without shame, guilt or fear.

Not saying that you will do all of these things specifically, but the essence remains: your sanity wants to be challenged — and you will meet the challenge with joy, because your soul is fed up with the empty calories of modern life. It wants to be rewarded, and it knows that no reward comes without effort.

Accept the challenge —

And you will breathe deeper, every breath being sweeter than the last.

You’ll discover that life is an adventure — dangerous, wild, and free.

Not the fixed “freedom” of a multiple choice test, but the real, dangerous, thrilling freedom of actually being free.

You will come to peace with the fact, that nothing is certain but death. But this won’t matter, because you will finally have something truly worth dying for.

You will have life. And you will be living for the pure sake of it. Living till your very last breath.

Daring to be sane in an insane world — what greater challenge can there be?

There’s only this one way to free yourself from the insanity of society: free yourself from the false notions of yourself and everything insane you’ve ever been taught to be. Don’t ignore the conflict: Fight it — and overcome yourself.

True freedom awaits on the other side, and it is as real as reality itself.


  1. Foam Penguin says:

    I stopped watching television and even pretending to be normal roughly during my freshman year of high school.

    I’m a grown man now, I haven’t had TV/radio/movie influenced thoughts overwhelming my consciousness for more than 12 years.

    All I can say is that waking up from modern slumber is exactly the “Satan-falling-from-heaven mental apocalypse” that Brett Stevens portrayed it as, but every second is worth it.

  2. crow says:

    Thanks, Soren. A fine start to my day. That was a reminder of Biblical Proportions!
    There’s nothing so refreshing as an unexpected dose of truth.

    1. crow says:

      I had to read that essay again. Even better the second time.
      I’ve always been sane, inside, even while trying valiantly not to be, and to emulate the others who were not, because there were just so many of them, that I questioned my own inner state.
      It used to be very, very difficult to remain outside the world of men, but not any more. Now it is easy, natural, and right. I fly with the crows.

  3. LoreTek says:

    Thank you Soren, I needed a morale boost and this was perfect!

    Half of insanity comes from feeling like you might be alone in this world (not physically alone but mentally) and this article sums up why I was so relieved to find this site, its writers, AND commentators. I, like many of you, have always felt different from my peers, somehow more conscious, more aware. I was always thinking, constantly thinking, even when I saw it in other people that they were not. In fact, I used to see other people, all people, as gods. I thought they were powerful because they did not have to constantly think.

    “Life” came natural to them and this caused me to become very anxious. Everything I did was calculated and everything I said, especially when I was younger, was strange to other kids, and I was ridiculed for it. I had been at the mercy of the Crowd, without knowing what it was.

    But, this was not life, it was augmented, it was society. And one day I suddenly realized it. That all the people around me weren’t powerful, and that social life came naturally to them, not life. This was my “breaking” point, my drop, my defining moment. Everything changed, suddenly I took pride in myself. That I could think so fast that I was able to run circles around the vast majority of my peers in anything strategic. On the other hand I was my own worst enemy; I got bored in class and often retreated to my own mind instead of paying attention to the people and things around me. Eventually this too caught up with me.

    With pride came another fall, the second hill of a roller coaster if you will. I was still alone. And for all the pride in my edge over people, it didn’t matter because I felt different, I felt insane, I wasn’t “normal”; I was alone in a mediocre world that said they were my equal, and I had lost the anxiety that use to drive me and tell me that it was true.

    This has been my inner war, and I’ve been fighting it since I was a child. Everyone’s ideas and words I have read and interacted with here showed me I was not alone in this Modern world. That being it’s brand of “normal” was not a good thing, in fact depending on the aspect I was more normal than anyone around me. It is because of this site I have since started the upward climb of the 3rd hill, and you know what they say about hills; smile going up :) For helping me on this battle of the war, I am forever grateful and wish only the best for everyone here!

    1. crow says:

      Welcome to Reality. It is the last frontier, but one that, by its nature, will never become overpopulated.

      1. Colleen says:

        Loved the essay and loved this comment that “reality…will never become overpopulated.”

        One of the paradoxes at the heart of the “loner conservatism” espoused by many on this blog is that while we are somewhat trying to get more people to share our values, we also cherish an ideal of solitude and quiet communion with the inhuman forces of nature/God/reality. This reclusive disposition is poorly adapted to converting people. We are never going to win the popularity contest of modern politics, and we wouldn’t want to–our ideas would just get distorted and dumbed down in the process.

        I believe that all meaningful politics starts from within, using the process of self-overcoming described in this essay. Only after making some progress along that path should anyone turn outward. And it won’t be a conventional attempt to convert a bunch of people. I think, rather, of a wise elder who leads by example, and whom younger people seek out because they can tell he is doing something right.

        1. 03-04 says:

          Thanks for the kind words on the essay.

          I think there’s a lot of truth in your comment. I’ve noticed this ‘loner conservatism’-paradox as well.

          In a certain sense, mainstream politics is too small a matter for us. We cherish real things – and there is something distastefully unreal about everything that ‘conventional politics’ has become.

          Selling out isn’t really an option.

          Yet we cannot ignore politics all together. If there is to be any hope for this wretched species of ours, then politics MUST change. It’s current state is very destructive.

          It’s not just about voting different, though – it’s about a whole different kind of being. This has clear political implications – but at heart I think Amerika is more about sharing a certain kind of ethos and reverence for Reality, than anything we could call conventional political ‘beliefs’ as such.

          1. crow says:

            It’s a country within a country, a state within a state.
            It exists in spite of the mountain in its way.
            Your essay, Soren, spurred me on to still greater things.
            I’m still excited by it.

            1. 03-04 says:

              You’re getting it.

              And now I’m starting to get it, too :)

              I am humbled by your comment.

              Thank YOU, crow :>

    2. 666 says:

      Ive experienced a similiar situation to a degree. Though I tend to keep to myself and try to evaluate the situation around me, I still experience doubt about my thoughts. At least the equality issue seems full of ulterior motives to me. I feel like people will lynch me if i say otherwise. This site and anus helps. Glad someone else knows what it feels like and not totally crazy. Soren said people are full of degenerate thoughts, I wonder if the idea that humans are like mortal gods in the power we hold to influence the natural world and human world around us yet are doomed to dust like fallen or lower gods is degenerate. It reminds me of the epic of gilgamesh-2/3 god 1/3 man….

  4. K.A. says:


  5. crow says:

    I only just now realized that Soren Larsen is the name of a Brigantine.
    Which interests me. I used to captain a Brigantine, before I knew better.
    I learned some interesting but utterly useless things, such as how to perform a maneuver called a ‘Box Haul’.
    Like so many things I have learned, in life, I’ll likely never, ever get to use it again.
    I am a regular gold mine of perfectly useless information.

    1. Doug says:

      It is hard sometimes to keep the warrior spirit alive. A routine outing to run errands somewhere in the West will be painless enough: most (not all!) people will let you merge in front of them on the freeway, the stop lights keep chaos at bay 24 hours a day and if you do end up in an accident you can count on first rate emergency help. The supermarket or post office is a smorgasbord of cultures holding doors open for and maybe even smiling at one another. An incident here or there maybe but basic civility seems to reign during a routine outing, even in some of the most aesthetically unappealing parts of town.

      Most people will say that it’s more than a little dramatic to refer to modern life as a war.

      This piece did not address any specifics because it didn’t need to. I think its primary purpose was not to convince anyone but to provide the choir with some glue for the puzzle in our heads whose pieces may periodically drift apart when we become complacent in our comfort (aww come on now, that wasn’t TOO bad).

      You may not see it on a trip to the supermarket but, surprise!: our arrogant adversary is ever present (Mozilla thing, nuff said) and surely will be for the balance of our days. To deny this and to embrace modernity is to give the middle finger to life itself. Better to embrace the war and by extension, sanity, for posterity’s sake (or something like that).

      And of course I’m not referring to a war with literal weapons and ammunition, you butthole. Infrequent commenter but I wanted to ramble a little to show my appreciation for this piece.

  6. Trace says:

    Found much to agree with here, perhaps because (as the ‘joke’ between my siblings goes) we were raised by wolves.
    While reading this piece I was struck by an odd contradiction. My guess is that Soren would disavow anything in common with Ayn Rand who ‘worshipped’ Western ideology. But at the same time she came to the common conclusion that life should be lived for it’s own sake and she met the challenge of defending that idea with unbridled ferocity. Or as another source put it, Whatsoever you find to do, do it with all your might.


    1. Wild says:

      Atlas Shrugged is a wonderful example of saying “yes” to life. Anyone here would be able to be inspired by that.

      1. Tyler says:

        Mmmm… Atlas Shrugged is rather a wonderful example of insanity, of that what the abovementioned inner fight is addressing in many ways. Ayn Rand’s Objectivism is rooted in self centered liberalism, its world view is associated with the Enlightenment.
        Or in other words, Ayn Rand’s Objectivism is at odds with Traditionalism in many ways, and hence at Odds with what many of us stand for.

        Btw, very nice article of Soren Larsen. Thank you!

        1. Wild says:

          If you throw out anything positive that does not fit within your worldview of definitions, you’re not going to get very far.

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