Amerika

Yet Another Reason That Amerika Sucks on 9-11

I can now estimate with a fairly high degree of clinical accuracy the chemical composition of Former Congressman/Intern-Plooker and All-Around Pissy Excuse For A Human Organism, Joe Scarborough. He is one-third sexual hormones and two-thirds reptilian feces. Lo and Behold! It walks, talks, and insists on spewing garbage. It even has an equally revolting girlfriend that it insists on impressing with his (ideological) passion through his unhinged hatred of Amerika’s current president.

I’m not sure what it is about 9/11 that brings forth the pestilential crawl of the media-maggots. Perhaps they are biologically attracted to mass-casualty events. Someone needs to tell them the bodies were all recovered and properly honored to the point that many of us are now tired of seeing them repeatedly being honored. The carrion-decomposers should go have lunch at McDonalds. It would probably taste remarkably familiar.

Most of us can stoically tolerate the mandatory duty patriotism. Maudlin tributes to heroic first-responders and “Where !I! Was on 9/11” pieces have gotten to be a bearable insult to our intelligence and sense of proper moral proportion. Yet every so often something gets published by the trash pandas of contemporary media that just demands the undivided attention of my somewhat overworked Screw-You Finger. Joe Scarborough puts the possibly radioactive trash on the table this morning. In honor of the fallen, he writes the following:

Sixteen years of strategic missteps have been followed by the maniacal moves of a man who has savaged America’s vital alliances, provided comfort to hostile foreign powers, attacked our intelligence and military communities, and lent a sympathetic ear to neo-Nazis and white supremacists across the globe. For those of us still believing that Islamic extremists hate America because of the freedoms we guarantee to all people, the gravest threat Trump poses to our national security is the damage done daily to America’s image….The question for voters this fall is whether their country will move beyond this troubled chapter in history or whether they will continue supporting a politician who has done more damage to the dream of America than any foreign adversary ever could.

Do I even need to fisk this garbage? I could start with the specious balloon juice about Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists. If what Joe Scarborough whispers into the ears of the basilisk sleeping next to him is true, The President has lent a sympathetic ear to 0.003% of the US Population. You’d find more voters willing to support Joe Scarborough in the 2020 Democratic Primaries. If Islamic Extremists hate Amerika for our freedoms, they really need to invest more heavily in Facebook and Google. If you don’t like Amerikans running around loose with individual liberties, Silicon Valley increasingly offers good apps for that.

As for damaging the current Amerikan Dream, Scarborough may have accidently mined some content. If your dream is to get rid of a boring, white legacy workforce and replace it with foreigners who are dependent upon you to keep their Visas legal, Trump says the meanest things and without a sabotage wing of his political party, he’d probably be closing that dream off with an iron fist. If your Amerikan Dream is to sit on your ass until it gets fat like one of Saturn’s moons while you collect from a hundred different welfare programs, Mean Old Orange-Face Trump vilifies you on nearly a daily basis. Also, most of the neighbors you used to kick with while drinking Night Train or OE all have jobs. And to think, all these people habitually vote for Mika Brezinski’s favored political party as well. No wonder Morning Wood Scarborough woke up stiff and crotchety.

We really need to have a national war on terror porn. Rename 9-11 to Let’s Teach The Bastards How To Properly Land Day. We could put commemorative 9/11 Stinger Missiles on the skyscrapers. I learned to appreciate the first-responders that time as a kid I got nailed by the copperhead in the woods behind my house. I thought they were useful human beings well before 9/11. Other than my boss at the time, nobody cared even then where !I! was on 9/11. I existentially matter to myself, not others. This deep piece of wisdom allows me to keep my boring, and non-dramatic memories of 9/11 to myself. If only the rest of Amerika could figure that out.

The only problem I see with getting rid of 9/11 commemorations completely is that so many hateful and obnoxious individuals are finding them useful. Just imagine what they’d do if we got rid of the 9/11 we have now. LIHOP or MIHOP, they’d have to think of something big, scary and really impressive to take its place. So remember 9/11. In particular, remember what happened to all the non-hateful, non-obnoxious people who were unfortunate enough to work in the wrong building or catch planes at the wrong airport. They, not the political hacks, not the trash pandas of modern journalism such as Joe Scarborough, are worthy of our condign and sympathetic memory.

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