Morons are the master race


Recent events have made it clear that the future is moron. That is, it will be both moronic, and possessed by morons, because they are the master race. Before I prove this indubitable fact to you, it is necessary to talk about some related foundational concepts, namely degree and efficiency.

Degree is the simplest: every solution fixes a problem by degree, as measured in how completely removed the problem is, for how long this will be true, and side-effects and other consequences of the act. If you find a spider in the house, you can choose to burn the house down, which technically speaking, does fix the problem. However, it only partially fixes the problem because you will need to build a new house and there, the same methods that caused the first spider to appear in your house will attract others. Thus the problem is “solved,” but not solved. To the opposite extreme, if your house has a structural fault, you can prop the sagging mess up with boards and cinderblock, but the problem is not solved there, either — only deferred.

Efficiency requires a bit more understanding. Humans pride ourselves on our efficiency but our methods are inferior to those of nature. Nature is not just a physical thing; it is a series of abstract patterns and the natural laws that in intersection create them (these intersections are Platonic forms). Nature thus rewards degree of efficiency not just in the now, but in the ongoing future, like a feedback cycle or loop. Today, it is most efficient to buy cheap land in the desert, pipe in water from low-population areas, and set up a suburb you can sell for a million a house and then retire someplace better. Looking at the long-term and ongoing game, it is more efficient to find the right climate, adapt to it in your construction, and live in balance with natural resources, because that way you require fewer things from the world around you and therefore experience less conflict.

Neither of those things matter these days. What matters is appearance, and it is binary if enough people approve. The wealth wave on which our society runs is not so much the cause of this as is the people power. When you form a society based around the idea of each individual being included, this makes every individual happy except the few with foresight, and the happy ones form a great big mob. Whatever they think is good, they will do, and defer consequences to the future, when they will blame those on the ones with foresight and either clean them up or ignore them.

This means that society acts like a robot: it denies the limits of reality and crashes ahead as if on autopilot, and any mess it makes does not bother it. When you have that many people acting as if something were true, it might as well be, at least for the time being. For that reason, being correct — usually a product of being wise, intelligent, good, honorable, far-sighted and so on — is no longer valuable. All that matters is being popular. Morons can be popular especially since the audience is also made of morons and loves to validate and legitimize itself.

Morons are more efficient as a result. Developing a brain, learning about the world, and taking risks in order to demonstrate truth are all expensive acts. Smart people require higher levels of function and favor greater degrees of quality. Morons need none of this; they simply do what is popular and exist at a low level of hygiene, order, function and time-scale, since they think no further ahead than the next pay period. A moron is happy with mediocrity and will rise to the top of the heap since morons are mediocrity experts.

The real reason that morons are the master race however is existential. Morons cannot think ahead of their next paycheck, so to them it is inconceivable that they die. They do not require any of the existential expenses of the intelligent. They do not need purpose, a sense of goodness, or even particular truth. They care nothing for excellence and principle. Morons are all about what is here and now. A cheeseburger to them is finer than all the works of Plato and Beethoven combined.

Smarter people struggle with questions of life and mortality. They worry about whether they are doing right. They create complex political intrigues in order to hoist one principle above the rest. Even more, they are never quite happy, because they are aware of their relatively imminent deaths and insignificance, and so while they are raging against the dying of the light and searching for hearts of gold, morons are simply eating cheeseburgers. With morons, the process of life is more efficient, much as monkeys are more efficient than humans.

Our society, which is run by morons, has realized that morons are the master race. They have none of the complicated habits and needs of smart people, but get right to the point of being human. For them life is having a job they can brag about, some possessions that look cool to others, and a cheeseburger every few hours. This is not only the most efficient solution to the human condition, but the most permanent. When we are all morons, there will be no war, strife or even ideas. Only cheeseburgers and contentment. That is the future the master race will bring you.

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7 Responses to “Morons are the master race”

  1. Adolf Hilter says:

    Only until there seem to be “infinite” resources. After that it will be like another shoah.

    • JPW says:

      The neat thing about morons is that if we ever could convince the non-morons to practice effective neglect, they’d do us all a favor and self-shoah.

  2. JPW says:

    As TJ Sotomayor puts it…”If you can’t go to Bella Noche, where can you go?”

  3. In the science fiction of my youth the non-morons would eventually get off the moron planet and live on the Moon, other planets or in space on their way to other stars. I still maintain a small warm spot of nostalgia for this idea. Perhaps in the next 50-100 year it will manifest in reality.

    The morons will do a great deal to prevent this, of course. It will be called selfish and un-democratic. In the books, the space pioneers overcome all these moron obstacles. Because that’s just the way they roll.

    Probably that’s best for everyone.

  4. Dark Axe says:

    Morons From Outer Space is a great 80s British social consumer parody flick that captures some of the spirit of this article.

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