I realize my recent posts may confuse many: advocacy of nihilism, strong realism and a rejection of the contemporary church? This man must be an atheist.
No — by all fiber of my being — I am not an atheist and I never have been one.
When I was a child, I grew up secure in the knowledge of a God-force before I was born, which I could still glimpse. I did — and still do — see it most profoundly in nature. A small pond forgotten in a forest is a feast of beauty and mathematical excellence which has no human equal. In it we see the genius of God.
He gave up being one thing, to be everything, so that we could sort things out… which in turn means that every achievement is as legitimate as possible. The world we know is God trading a massive power for a living awareness in all things.
I still see God everywhere, wherever beauty is to be found. The Designer of this Creation is so much vastly smarter than us that our efforts to articulate Him are broken and inevitably insufficient, which is why God must be experienced not described — but, ironically, description tells us where to begin our search.
Most people wish for a “sign” from God of His existence. But, that would destroy the beauty of the choice. If God makes himself visible, those who follow him will be the same obedient toadies who are middle-management and authority figures now. He would collect tools, and reject the spirited.
Instead, He asks we make a leap of faith: look at the pattern-order of creation, and choose your side. Do you believe in divinity and reverence, or do you choose the idea that materiality is more substantial than idea? Plato wrote about this, and showed us that materiality and socialization formed a cave in which we saw illusions as more true than reality itself, which includes God.
There is more to be said here than an essay can tackle by itself. But: take a look at the world around you. Wander past a pond full of tadpoles, fish and newts; watch the beauty of trees swinging in the breeze; delve into the mysteries of mathematics and philosophy.
If you are capable, and if you keep your mind both open and focused through self-discipline, you will find God.
He is always here.