Barack Obama Has A Point: The US Welfare System Causes Global Warming

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So President Septimius Severus hopped aboard Air Force One and flew to SXSW to party. Then he hopped aboard Carbon-Farter One yet again and jetted off to meet the dashing new Canadian PM Kim Il Trudeau and joined him in pathetically hypocritical condescension against the people in his own country.

“In some ways, as wealthier countries, we can probably adapt and manage better,” Obama said in a joint press conference with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “On the other hand, we’re also those responsible for a lot of the carbon pollution that is causing climate change.” He added that if the U.S. and Canada are not strong leaders on addressing the issue of climate change, nothing will get done.

Congratulations on your vast perspicacity, Mr. Obama. Both the United States and Canada are contributing greatly to the destruction of Mother Nature. So Mr. President, allow your humble correspondent to nrxplain to you who is causing the excess carbon emissions. The excess carbon emissions come from two primary sources.
1) Excess Carbon emissions occur when your heavy-hitting business and industrial campaign donors move work out of more modern industrial nations and send them to China or other lower technology nations to perform he work instead. This does save them much of the money they turn around and funnel into buying you off so that you can go party at SXSW instead of having to get a real job, Mr. President. However, when manufacturing gets offshored to places like China the CO2 Emissions per productive dollar of GDP is way higher. So when the major donors who have bankrolled your career offshore their work to more effectively get rid of Americans, they cause Global Warming and you sit there and just watch it happen.
2) Excess Carbon emissions occur when people emit without producing in return. The United States of America has spent trillions of dollars our nation doesn’t even have to bankroll the lifestyles of people who are not doing enough to otherwise live at that level of consumption. This has been steadily escalating since 1965 under Amerika’s most malevolent president ever, Lyndon Baines Johnson.
But how can that be? Transferring an electronic balance onto an EBT Card can’t possibly harm the environment. Its production and capitalism that makes pollution. Government could never be that evil! Socialism is what the Good People do. It could never cause Global Warming! Or not…
This site has already explained in very basic detail how the Earth’s environment gets destroyed via consumption.

A more sensible thought is to look at the basic equation of human impact: D = P x I. Damage (D) is the result of Population (P) times Impact Per Person (I). This simplifies a complex issue to demonstrate a simple fact.

So guess what happens when you fill up the EBT Card. The card-holder goes straight to the store and consumes. That produces an order in the retail inventory systems. Ones that system reaches re-order point for whatever the EBT Card-holders are buying, than more stuff gets ordered, and more stuff gets made. This is how the EBT Card-driven consumption leads to environmental degradation. Welfare, therefore, is a scourge on Blessed Gaea.
So guess what happens when you don’t fill up the EBT Card? The impact per individual goes back down. Simply limit people to consuming a portion of what they earn. This forces their impact on the planet back down. Do not use money to allow people breed to any level beyond what they can afford to support. Don’t subsidize reproduction. Never subsidize reproduction out of wedlock.
A population that outperforms what it consumes will ultimately begin dedicating its excess labor to repairing environmental damage and regenerating the planet. This means that a population that has to work before they can eat is a blessing instead of a curse to the planet. And that, Mr. President, is how we go about making today the day when the oceans begin to recede. Save the planet, President Obama. Kill LBJ’s Great Society.

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Jonathan Peter Wilkinson

JPW works as an Operations Research Analyst. This line of work has trained him to view the world in a systemic fashion. In solving the System Identification Problem of modern society, he discovered that the system was not truly designed to make us happier or more successful. Secondly, an unflinching evaluation of the ongoing outputs of the current system show its marked decline in quality and success.

5 thoughts on “Barack Obama Has A Point: The US Welfare System Causes Global Warming”

  1. It seems strange that Canadians of all people would worry about “global warming”. You would think they would like it a few degrees warmer.

  2. Not to mention all of the pollution from the propane and methane fueled data centers. Also, I feel I must state the obvious that: when ice melts, the water retracts. A receding ocean might very well be a worse thing than the ocean rising.

    1. All he’d have to do to learn that not all Carbon is in Carbon Dioxide is to start his car in a closed garage and then take a nice, relaxing nap.

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