Guilt compulsion tyranny

There’s nothing in common between our citizens anymore, and the internet shows it. Almost all references to the internet begin with “So I was arguing with this idiot…” The points of view are literally incompatible.

No case in point is more illustrative than a recent exchange on noted internet dropout huddle zone Reddit. One poster told a story about an elementary-school student who was not very popular, and this kid had a birthday party, and no one came.

The poster was hurt and outraged that kids were so “cruel” and used epithets to describe their behavior. But is it really so? As I pointed out, it’s not necessarily that they were cruel. They may have simply not wanted to socialize with the kid. Saying that they then must socialize with him, or be thought cruel, is a type of mental control through guilt. In fact, it’s a bit psycho to judge their behavior in any way. There should be no obligation to go to birthday parties, or the exercise becomes full Soviet and there’s no fun left in it.

In the same way, our citizens should not be forced to socialize with one another. But in the hands of nanny state government however, the same choice will be made as this poster wants to do to birthday parties. It’s not fair if someone has a birthday party that is unattended, he thinks, so we should use guilt and fear of being ostracized to force people to attend. Never mind that then the kid is not merely unpopular, but hated, because he’s an obligation as odious as paying taxes or waiting in line at the DMV.

Our society tosses around words like “cruel” and “oppressive” without even bothering to care what the meaning is. You succeed in this society by being inoffensive and having a spiel that most people find pleasant and complimentary. They like having their heads filled with images of themselves as kind and wise, not cruel and prone to exercise judgment. In their distracted egomaniac stroll through life, they want to be told that no one is more important than anyone else, and that no one can tell anyone else what to do. This lets their distracted suburban-housewife mentality think that everything is peaceful, maan. We’re all cool because we’re all the same. We are one, now have a dreamcatcher and an Ansel Adams print to make you feel profound.

The grim reality of the situation is that it is better for everyone if we are all totally honest instead. Take the unpopular kid for example. If no one in his class wants to go to his birthday party, he should face that truth and then consider his options. The first is one that most people find upsetting, because it requires you to really escape the brainwashing of this era. Who cares if you’re popular? Don’t bother trying to be popular unless it’s important to you. The second option is for people to whom it is important to be popular. If no one wants to come to your birthday party, you have to figure out why and change yourself so that they like you. If they’re all jerks or idiots, you have to be a jerk or idiot like them, but your party will be well attended.

In either case, the unpopular kid has made a choice and adapted. Either he rejects popularity itself or finds a way to win at the game. He would not have these realizations if he were not told by others by their non attendance that he was not popular. When we shield this kid from reality by forcing other kids to go to his party, he never goes through the learning experience and for the rest of his life, goes through life depending on a false notion of how it works.

Our society as a whole is run like a committee. It likes to make everyone play well together. Its leaders like to see peace, order, conformity and most of all a constant need for external validation. People who go through life begging for attention are easy to control. The nanny state comes from this mentality, and thrives by controlling us through its approval, like a manipulative parent. It wants us all to be forced to go to the unpopular kids’ birthday because that keeps the peace, and also breaks our independent will and makes us dependent on how others perceive us.

The scary thing about this state of mind is that it arises from good intentions. No one wants to think about being the kids whose party was a bust. But in the name of that fear, we create a far worse devil. By forcing us to interact with each other, we make our society insincere and manipulative. That effectively destroys all honest emotions, all friendships, all love. But at least the committee is happy.

14 Comments

  1. Mojo says:

    I was reminded of this from a few years ago – a kid in Sweden invited some, but not all, of his classmates to his birthday party.

    It went to court where he was charged with discrimination:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7479758.stm

    1. Esotericist says:

      That’s the ultimate liberal dream state. You can say NO to no one; everyone can have whatever anyone else has. The liberal imagines this is a paradise where all is accepted and none have cares, when in fact it would be a neurotic horror where lack of challenge and purpose would destroy people’s souls like flowers in a pressure chamber.

      Think of a video game where you win for having booted up the machine. There’s no challenge, and soon you’re bored, but you still have to play. If you stop playing, the lynch mob forms and kills you for sabotaging the great worker’s paradise.

  2. Jim says:

    But, but how can one find honesty in ourselves when we are all the same? And if bad things happen, it’s the fault of someone else and never your own. For they are being discriminating are they not? This mentality permeates everywhere from feminism to class warfare. And it only applies to the subjugated.

    1. Esotericist says:

      Those who aren’t subjugated don’t need pity, so you should create some excuse as to why you’re a victim. I suggest we all claim we were raped as children and our true sexual identity (mollusks) was suppressed. This finally makes us equal to people who are impaired or narcissistic, and we too can participate in the worker’s paradise.

  3. crow says:

    Ha! I remember that comic strip from my childhood, except it was advertising the Charles Atlas course, then. I never did understand why “Hero of the beach” was written across the sky.

    Good article. True to the awful facts. I often get called ‘vicious and cruel’ around here, for no other reason than being honest, and reminding people of the actual reality of whatever situation is being referred to.
    Honesty gets you in all sorts of trouble, for as long as you persist in trying to socialize with the socializers. But when you finally stop doing that, you discover that the entire rest of nature socializes with you, instead.

    Honesty gets you animal and bird friends. Plant friends. Grass grows before your eyes, and nature includes you. Even the old and dying creatures come and make themselves comfortable as they get ready to expire. I’ve got a regular boneyard going, here. But it’s not a sad thing, at all. I think summer has arrived.

    1. Missy says:

      We can carry “being honest” too far. Suppose you have young children and someone, anyone, everyone, practices this total honesty with them and they are just crushed. It is in a child’s nature to be easily crushed and, yes, we must protect them to a degree. No, not by forcing all children to invite all the kids in their class to their birthday party; or by forcing your children to attend all birthday parties they get invited to.

      How about just teaching basic decency to our children: by gently explaining things to them instead of just saying, “It doesn’t MATTER, Patty, if you got invited or not! It doesn’t matter if everyone else got invited and you didn’t! Just forget about it! You are better than they are and they are jealous!” Or, alternatively, “You didn’t get invited, Patty, because you are such a little pain in the ass and no one likes you!”

      Surely there’s a better approach. And wise parents use it all the time. Our kids aren’t perfect any more than we are, and we have to handle them and their flaws and life’s sticky situations properly, or we are creating seriously disturbed adults down the line.

      1. crow says:

        You can never carry honesty too far.
        I wrote an article about this very subject.
        People are always confusing honesty with brutality, and there is really no need for any connection between them.
        You can be completely honest without being in any way cruel, or even insensitive.
        And if honesty upsets a few people, who depend upon reality-denial for their wellbeing, then it’s probably time they started to work on their own psychological maladjustment, it being nobody else’s responsibility to maintain their delusions.
        As for kids, don’t you think it’s a far better idea to introduce them to reality, as early as possible? With kindness, and love, with the addition, perhaps, of a book of fairytales to allow a fantasy retreat, when needed.

        1. Esotericist says:

          I have to agree here. Every time I thought I was being clever or political by avoiding a difficult truth, it came back like a boomerang and took my head off. It’s better to be politely firm in saying what you need to than letting the lies by omission build up.

          1. crow says:

            People just don’t get it about honesty.
            They see it as an optional virtue, that makes them look good. But that is only a side-effect.
            It is the way life works. Without it, life doesn’t work, period.
            It’s got more in common with oxygen than with behaviour.
            It makes you healthy.

            1. Esotericist says:

              Without honesty, there’s nothing to stop people from manipulating each other as the only way they can interact. Without honesty, true friendship and love is impossible.

      2. Doug Vance says:

        The typically detached parents must have been unaware of their child’s standing among his peers. Instead, they probably clung to illusions, which are more convenient than getting involved, about their child.

        So what would a parent who actually bothered to be informed about their disliked child do? Redirect him from the birthday party concept and toward a family day of fun out somewhere.

        That way the kid isn’t set up for a crushing failure, still craving popularity that will never manifest, and bitter against his peers for the long haul. He’ll get the little social cues hints over the passage of time and learn to gradually adjust himself rather than get humiliated and enraged into a permanent malcontent over one unforgettable catastrophic failure.

        1. Esotericist says:

          I don’t think it’s healthy for kids to measure their self-worth through the approval of others. That’s a good way to make obedient little job-sheep, but those can only function within the range defined as “normal.” Anything too new and they break down like vacuum tube computers.

  4. Every kid needs to go through a bit of rejection and/or beasting to build character.

  5. Lost wanderer says:

    What makes me “laugh” is when a reject go on a killing spree and afterward, the survivers say that they should have been nicer to him. How pathetic. It’s a way to keep their good conscience. It’s so easy to say those things afterward, but way less easy to makes friend with him. Just stop the false pity. If you don’t want to be with the reject. Fine. No one should be force to be friend with anybody. Just accept the consequences. (By the way, I’m not in agreement with the losers that go on killing others)

    I suspect those reactions to be related to the guilt that the society impose on the people to stop rejecting others.

    I’m may be too harsh but I’ve seen this kind of hypocrisy too many times.

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