Archaeologists working in South Africa recently uncovered the fossilized skull of a human ancestor, Paranthropus robustus, who died two million years ago but recently voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania.
The scientists first found the remains in 2018 in Drimolen, South Africa but discovered that despite being in a box at the back of the laboratory, Paranthropus robustus was not only listed on the active voter rolls but cast a vote at 3:00 AM on November 4.
“True to his South African heritage, Paranthropus robustus supports the diversity, unity, and free shit for everyone offered by the Democrat platform,” said Kamala Harris. “We did it Joe! Now let’s get these tanks — err, staff — into the White House so we can begin the Party’s thousand-year rule.”
It is thought that three species of hominin lived in South Africa under a system like present-day diverse multicultural market socialist democracy during the time that Paranthropus robustus was there, having large teeth and small brains which nonetheless have chosen Leftism for over two million years.