For all of its strengths, modern society suffers from a systemic depression and self-hatred.
This exists because, in order to have equality of humans, you have replaced any goal with the non-goal of having equality of humans. For this reason, we don’t strive for anything — we strive for ourselves.
However, as the cliche has it, you don’t discover yourself by navel-gazing. You discover yourself by going Jack London or Hunter S. Thompson and getting out there, pitting yourself against reality and figuring out what you’re made of. You don’t get to know yourself until you must use yourself.
We have confused symptom and effect with cause. We see a problem, and we command that it be otherwise, as we would do in a shop or when manipulating a lover. But we cannot access the underlying structure, which is what we’d need to know our goals.
As a result we drift around like drunk robots, without any real agenda, but with a list of obligations. Must go to work; must buy certain things, including life insurance, and fix things that stopped working; must obey laws, pay taxes, go to Christmas parties.
If you’re thinking that this is a formula for ambiguity and half-hearted participation, you are correct: people float through life in a perpetual dual state of being in the process of doing things, but resisting themselves the whole time.
This constant neurotic internal conflict destroys any presence of mind or persistence of notice of details, which further adds to the misery by making every job a cursory job. From your sandwich to your government, it’s a heap of hacks built on hacks.
Worse is that as you navigate life people seem devoted to inefficiency. They move slowly, forget to notice when the traffic lights have changed, bungle simple tasks. You see people driving who appear lost but really it is not that they are not aware of where their destination is, but they’re unsure of what their destination should be.
And pressures are piled on top of this. Social pressures, to be doing something cool enough to blog about, or eating something nifty enough to post on Instagram. Political pressures to look like a decent citizen active in a series of meaningless activities devoted to the hopeless. Existential pressures, feeling life slipping away, without any notion of having come to appreciate it in the first place.
Floating through life, people stay safe in their own minds by never really committing to anything. In this brave new world, we are all suburban housewives, criticizing a world we have never experienced from the safety and boredom of our bourgeois homes.
As we do so, we entreacle the few remaining people with any purpose. That includes the politically active, but also well-meaning types like your priest or the lady who runs the local animal shelter. All are bogged down in the floating slowness of the herd.
What this does is build up frustration among those who have abilities, and those who do not have abilities notice this, and pile on the delays as a kind of Pyrrhic resentment. We all suffer. Rage builds. From that comes self-hatred, and the cycle restarts.
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Hey, bored suburban housewife of the bourgeoisie here. My being bored is something I’m working on just as much as Hunter S. Thompson exploring drugs. It’s so funny how everybody just knows that if you’re not in an extreme drug, violence, poverty or whatever situation, you’re an object for contempt. But what if your meaningful problem is the rut, the fear of flying, the emotional paralysis? Self-loathing for not having more literature-worthy problems can’t help anything. The tone you took about it is just more self-loathing. I say so because you found something to point the finger at and look down upon. “At least I can say I’m not her.” Please redirect your own self loathing to yourself. I’ve got enough of my own to grow through. Compassion is the answer to self-loathing, and once you’ve got that, you don’t need to denigrate someone whose problem is lack of problems.
What do you mean by “emotional paralysis”?
The inability to feel emotion, or feeling paralysed by too many of them?
This topic interests me greatly, and I’ve developed interesting views on the nature and utility of emotion.
What are yours?
The problem isn’t the bourgeois housewive-ness, it’s the lack of overall goal to a civilization. Boredom and meaninglessness come from an inability to contribute to something you find meaningful; there’s no way to live for oneself that does not become cyclic and peter out.
I picked the bourgeois bored housewives because they were the last generation’s flagship for that “fear of flying,” which was a non-solution and always will be. Emotional paralysis? This comes from having nothing worth expending emotions upon.
There is no way out except having a healthy society!
I like what you have to say, Lisa. I’d like to put in a good word for bourgeois homes & living, while I’m here. Exactly how should we all live, Brett? There was a time when being a bourgeois housewife was cool, but not so much anymore in spite of their numbers.
I think it’s still cool, if they’re like the suburban bourgeois housewives (SBH) I know. It’s a media meme and cultural trope, however, that the type of boredom these people experience is acute. I never saw it — growing up, SBHs ruled the roost, ran churches and volunteer groups, had active social lives and beautiful families and tended not to live in neurotic doubt like the city dwellers.
Thank you for thoughtful, considered replies. This is a great blog!
Emotional paralysis, seems to me, is having the ability to take opportunities and yet not undertaking the challenge, because sometimes it feels so good to be immobilized, and watch the day go by.
Emotions are really interesting. About 3 years ago I was in midlife crisis and found a book called Listening to Depression and learned that it gives you a message that can change your life. It’s a gift. And I also studied The Language of Emotions and found that your feelings speak the truth. Sadness shows you how to feel and then let go. Anger shows you where you’ve got to put your boundaries. Shame shows you where you need to preserve your own values, etc.
So, Crow–emotional paralysis probably comes from your mental conditioning saying one thing and your feelings telling you another, but you’re unwilling to let your honest feelings affect your choices because the choices are in your comfort zone.
What happens when nothing is in one’s way anymore except a few people’s opinions?
Brett I will search your blog for what a healthy society is. What is healthy in a society where the five basic needs are taken care of. Not a clue. There are better ideas that haven’t been widely seen yet. They will overthrow the old order, no doubt.
“emotional paralysis probably comes from your mental conditioning saying one thing and your feelings telling you another, but you’re unwilling to let your honest feelings affect your choices because the choices are in your comfort zone”
Cognitive dissonance that has been discussed here so much?
One thing to add: I am growing out of the thought that good things will come along.
Growing into the better idea: You reach for, and you work for, something better. There isn’t time to complain.
I’m starting to see the same thing. I have to set goals and work towards them. My life has seen its share of messes, but things have slowly become more clear. I hope I am up to the task, but yeah you have to put in the effort.